The celebration is of course segregated by gender. While in the same general location, all of the women party together, while the men do their thing (whatever that may be). As strange as this is, I think it is a welcomed event for the women because they are able to unwind, let loose, and shed the abaya, at least for a little while. The few colleagues that were there with us, got up and showed us some dance moves we didn't think these ladies possessed. It was nice to see them let their guard down and have some fun for a little while. They don't get to show that side of their personality in this culture a lot. The dresses ranged from high school prom to something you would see in a Ms. Universe Pageant . . . the girls don these glittering gowns, put on make-up, and give the people of Texas a run for their money in the big hair competition. The make-up is also a bit dramatic, though it has a different effect on different people. For me it was all over- the -top, but for some I could see, though extreme in my views, it was tastefully done. I just have never been one for bright pink, green, blue . . . they are usually not colors seen on respectable women back in the states. However, they so rarely get to wear make up in this culture that they want to make sure they take full advantage of the situation. Like I said, it wasn't bad, just very different than what I am used to.
The outfits are not the only extreme thing in the wedding hall. At the door you are greeted by family members of the wedding party. In my case, I did not recognize the person I was greeting at first. Usually covered at work so that only her eyes are showing, Mina, was unveiled and striking in a red, black, and white dress. My student Hamama, Mina's sister, was in a beautiful sky blue gown. Both of course had glittering jewels, which I cannot verify, but I can guess were real. I have gotten of course though, I was going to talk about the hall itself. When you enter, it is on a carpet that stretches to the front of the hall. At the front is a walkway (once again reminiscent of a pageant) leading to a couch on a stage. The couch looks too nice to sit on, but it is where the bride will spend her time during the party. No one but family is allowed near the bride, though trust me when she showed up, you couldn't miss her. I will have more on the bride later. The tables and chairs around the stage where not much different than any catered event you might find in the states. The stage is really where the extravagance of the decorations lay. Gold chrome decorations, in a middle eastern style, are mirror images of each other on either side of the couch sitting in the center. Lights, flowers, and crystal ball light fixtures are scattered across the stage, focusing more on the area nearest the couch. As I said, the couch looks too nice to sit on, like something you would see on a tour of a castle. The type of furniture that sits untouchable beyond the velvet rope. Even the servants are in sparkling outfits of gold, to fit in with the glitzy decor.
However, despite the glitz and glamour on and around them, the guests are for the most part dressed modestly. I myself was in a abaya, as well as any other adult in attendance. Many wore a burka and had their sheyla on as well. Little dancing occurred and when it did, it was mostly the teenagers. Judy and I did not know the protocol on dancing. The wedding as we know it, includes the electric slide, some oldies, and of course guilty pleasures. Each type of song you find someone on the dance floor, often the bride herself. Not the case at an Emirati wedding. The focus is food, and drinks. Lots of drinks. All types of tea and juices of course, you won't find stupid drunk behavior here. While the lack of energy and excitement, in my opinion, was strange, the weirdest part was the fact that for most of the party the bride wasn't even there. Here we were celebrating the wedding of two people, already separated from one half, the other one is not there at all. From what I was told, neither party was at their respective celebrations until late. It is the first party that I have ever been to, that for the majority of it, it did not include the celebrant.
As I mentioned early, when the bride did arrive, there was no chance that she would be missed. Chairs lining the walkway, the bride was escorted in by her father and brothers. Slowly making their way down the walkway, my guess because of the sheer weight of her gown. All eyes were on her, as pictures were taken of her progress. Once on stage, she was escorted up and down, pausing every so often to make sure everyone had time see her. The stage, and ceremony of it all is meant to put the bride on display. I know that the wedding day is supposed to be all about the bride, (and groom, I guess) but this is the first time I have seen it so blatantly displayed. Not that I think it is a bad thing, just different. As for the dress, I mentioned that the weight had to be extreme. The skirt and train could have hid small children. The front and back had a intricate beading design that covered the corset and chest. With all the lights, the sparkle could have blinded a person if they weren't careful. The veil was draped lightly on her head, and her hair was pulled back in an elaborate up-do. It was all topped off with a massive diamond and ruby necklace. Nothing but glamour for the bride. At this point in the night, it was after 11PM, so we did not stay very long.
Overall, it was a very interesting experience. I would not say it was bad, but I have to admit that I much prefer western style weddings. When I go to a party, I like to get all dressed up, but I also like to feel like it is a party. It was a nice night out at the Emirati wedding, but in my view the party fell short. I'm sure there will be many more, and I am interested to see if the experience changes or if Emirati weddings are, "Been to one, been to them all," type deal.
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