According to Urban Dictionary, change is "a word that was used so much in the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election that it no longer has meaning." Well, no offense to Urban Dictionary, but for me change holds a lot of meaning.
Changing my clothes allow me to transform from a Westerner "playing dress-up" to a Westerner just far from home. One simple element, clothing, here means everything. From the abaya to the sheila, each piece of clothing you choose says something about who you are, where you are from, and what you believe. Clothes are not the only way that I have changed since embarking on this ongoing adventure.
I am slowly learning Arabic. A change that seems to be ongoing and right now seems never-ending. One of my Arabic colleagues has agreed to work with me one period each day--insa'allah, of course-- to help me learn Arabic. Sometimes I think they think I have not been trying, and well in all honesty, I guess I wasn't. It wasn't for a lack of trying, I just didn't have a class or anything to go to so progress was slow. Chances to use the Arabic I know is limited as well. I know that seems hard to believe, but they want to practice and learn English just as much as I want to learn Arabic so it is hard find that balance where both parties are benefitting.
Another difference, I have trouble labeling it a change because it was a habit all along, is my extra time to read and write. I wouldn't try to claim my writing has gotten better, it still needs editing and a lot is probably best left for my private collection, but I find that I am more inspired and have time to write. I am not stressed out with work, no football games, dances, or meetings to attend that steal away the evening. Now don't get me wrong, there are things to do out here in the desert. However, if I want to stay in and write some fiction, or work on an essay. I have the time. I seem to be going through books a lot faster too. Though Pillars of the Earth, as good as it is, makes me feel like I have been reading the same book forever.
I know that neither of these things seem to be real life altering changes. In fact, the are quite simple and something that really could have been accomplished at home, maybe. It is hard to really take in everything that is going on when you uproot your life. Yes, I still have a storage unit of stuff, a family, and a crazy puppy waiting for me at home, but my daily life is lived out here in the desert of Liwa. I reach for long sleeves even though I know it is 90+ degrees and never think twice about the choice. No I am not completely comfortable in this environment, that would be a lie. The dust kills my allergies, and while the heat isn't as crippling as those first steps out of the airport, but long sleeves in hundred degree weather is sometimes uncomfortable. However, with the benefit of air condition, evening excursions, and late night hours, I am able to enjoy what life has to offer here.
It is hard to believe that it is already the end of March. I have been able to experience so much and grow from each of the experiences I have had since arriving in September. I know that my growth is not over and I am sure more changes are in the cards. I just have to remember to not lose myself within the changes, and enjoy this time. I am not the same person that stepped off the plane in September, and so far I don't regret the changes that have lead me to who I am today. I hope that my experience here will continue to allow me to "find" new parts of myself that I might have forgotten, blocked, or been too afraid to let shine. Maybe I will even find a way to love those parts of me that aren't so perfect, weirder things have happened.
Changing my clothes allow me to transform from a Westerner "playing dress-up" to a Westerner just far from home. One simple element, clothing, here means everything. From the abaya to the sheila, each piece of clothing you choose says something about who you are, where you are from, and what you believe. Clothes are not the only way that I have changed since embarking on this ongoing adventure.
I am slowly learning Arabic. A change that seems to be ongoing and right now seems never-ending. One of my Arabic colleagues has agreed to work with me one period each day--insa'allah, of course-- to help me learn Arabic. Sometimes I think they think I have not been trying, and well in all honesty, I guess I wasn't. It wasn't for a lack of trying, I just didn't have a class or anything to go to so progress was slow. Chances to use the Arabic I know is limited as well. I know that seems hard to believe, but they want to practice and learn English just as much as I want to learn Arabic so it is hard find that balance where both parties are benefitting.
Another difference, I have trouble labeling it a change because it was a habit all along, is my extra time to read and write. I wouldn't try to claim my writing has gotten better, it still needs editing and a lot is probably best left for my private collection, but I find that I am more inspired and have time to write. I am not stressed out with work, no football games, dances, or meetings to attend that steal away the evening. Now don't get me wrong, there are things to do out here in the desert. However, if I want to stay in and write some fiction, or work on an essay. I have the time. I seem to be going through books a lot faster too. Though Pillars of the Earth, as good as it is, makes me feel like I have been reading the same book forever.
I know that neither of these things seem to be real life altering changes. In fact, the are quite simple and something that really could have been accomplished at home, maybe. It is hard to really take in everything that is going on when you uproot your life. Yes, I still have a storage unit of stuff, a family, and a crazy puppy waiting for me at home, but my daily life is lived out here in the desert of Liwa. I reach for long sleeves even though I know it is 90+ degrees and never think twice about the choice. No I am not completely comfortable in this environment, that would be a lie. The dust kills my allergies, and while the heat isn't as crippling as those first steps out of the airport, but long sleeves in hundred degree weather is sometimes uncomfortable. However, with the benefit of air condition, evening excursions, and late night hours, I am able to enjoy what life has to offer here.
It is hard to believe that it is already the end of March. I have been able to experience so much and grow from each of the experiences I have had since arriving in September. I know that my growth is not over and I am sure more changes are in the cards. I just have to remember to not lose myself within the changes, and enjoy this time. I am not the same person that stepped off the plane in September, and so far I don't regret the changes that have lead me to who I am today. I hope that my experience here will continue to allow me to "find" new parts of myself that I might have forgotten, blocked, or been too afraid to let shine. Maybe I will even find a way to love those parts of me that aren't so perfect, weirder things have happened.
No comments:
Post a Comment